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Nabisco has zero chill

I somewhat blame parenthood for my newfound fascination with all things Oreo. Pinterest is also to blame. Back in the 80s, we had the chocolate Oreo, the double stuffed Oreo, and the golden Oreo. That’s it. Jump ahead 30 years and Nabisco has now somehow managed to infuse the trendiest of flavors into their original Oreos and, I must say, I ain’t mad about it.

To date, Nabisco has released a ridiculous number of limited edition and seasonable flavors, with a more recent no-chill behavior beginning a couple of years ago after their 100th anniversary. It’s a hell of a marketing strategy — using the latest trends in flavors (think back to when salted caramel became the “it” flavor) and infusing them into the best selling cookie of all time. Even if the cookie sucks, they’ll make millions from everyone buying at least one package. I, admittedly, am one of those poor suckers who monitors the foodie blogs and tracks release dates for these cookie flavors. Yes, while you’re adding movie and Jordan release dates to your calendar, I’m checking for dem S’mores Oreos.

While I do not  have specifics on sales, I’m sure Nabisco is seeing increased profits because they keep releasing bangers every 3-4 months. Examples: Red Velvet, S’mores, Reese’s (dude…..), Peppermint, Brownie, and on and on and on. Most recently (i.e., this morning), I stumbled upon their latest foolishness at Giant: Fruity Crisp Oreo. These MoFos have put fruity pebbles, the most African-American cereal in history, inside of a golden Oreo. Is this real life???? So of course I picked up a package. I also grabbed a classic chocolate Oreo (2 for $6. Had to.). I opened the package and I was immediately hit with the sweet scent of fruity pebbles. I don’t even remember eating the first (of many) cookie. I slowly ate another one,  un-twisting and examining the rainbow-colored specs that were perfectly mixed with the cream. Sending pics to my sisters. Posting them on social media and sending followers all over the US to their local stores (I should be making dough off of my free advertisements). It was pure perfection. Well done, Nabisco. You’ve successfully increased my risk factor for diabetes by 3%. Two a day keeps the doctor away or something like that, right?

If you respect the flavor Gods like I do, you’re an Oreos fan, and you aren’t afraid to try something new, I implore you to go find these! ASAP! Their limited edition, so you might want to grab about 6 packs. I hear they freeze well.