The same social media trolls that are hatin’ on ‘Pokèmon Go’ are the same ones gearing up for their Fantasy Football drafts in a few weeks, paying $100+ per league with only a hope to earn a percentage of that money back. Yes, you can play FF without leaving your house, and by all intents and purposes, it’s much safer than strolling the streets with your arm extended, cellphone-in-hand, asking someone to rob your ass. But damnit this game is fun!!

I have two younger sisters (ages 17 & 26) who spent the weekend last week. Within minutes of them getting here, per normal, they connected to my wifi and went ham and cheese on their social media accounts. They asked me if I was playing ‘Pokèmon Go’. I was like, “What? What is that?” This is a question I wish I’d never asked. They broke it all the way down for me, convinced me to download the app (after they found one on my foot), and then, it began. Hubby was intrigued and downloaded the app, too. I wasn’t too hype about it. I didn’t fully understand the purpose (and didn’t care enough to invest time in googling about it) until I got to work on Monday. My assistant was on to it and so were a few co-workers. So I opened the app and something MAGICAL happened. There, as I sat in my office, minding my own business, I realized that the JHH medical campus was a hotspot. I was literally sitting in between two Pokè stops, so I could just sit and collect Pokèballs and other “combat” items, and catch alllll kinds of rare Pokèmon all day without going anywhere. Word??? I don’t have to be outchea looking crazy, pulling my truck over to catch Pokèmon or risking my life crossing heavy traffic? I can collect these joints like a banker and make my sisters insanely jealous of their old head sister? Awesome.

So I’m 5 days in and I’m on Level 12. I’ve learned more than I wanted to know about this game, and I think I have it down to a science. I’m evolving Pokèmon left and right, prepping to battle them at my local Pokèmon gym (which happens to be Chick Fil A. Oh, the agony!) At this point, I’m just trying to one-up anyone I know who is currently playing the game. Once I fall behind enough, or it becomes too much of a distraction, or when I drop this kid in a few weeks and don’t have time to even think about a Pokèmon (whichever of the 3 comes first), I’ll quit it. Until then…

*Sing with me*: “I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was, to catch them is my real test, to train them is my caaaaaaaause…”

Don’t judge me.